How To Quit Porn With SCIENCE

Porn is the biggest obstacle to your happiness and success. It’s the reason for your anxieties. It’s the reason you fear approaching girls. You know it’s true! Still, it is very hard to quit porn. Behavior change is always hard – especially when it’s addictive behavior. The SCIENCE framework is a powerful toolset to quit porn. Not only can it help you to quit porn, it can also make your sexual dreams come true.

What Is SCIENCE

Science is an acronym for: Stepladders, Community, Important, Easy, Neurohacks, Captivating, and Engrained. Those are the key forces for behavior change. Sean Young explains each force in his book, Stick with it. To keep this article short I won’t go into depth with the forces. Instead, I will give you examples how to use each force to fight porn addiction.

Why do we need each force? Porn addiction is a common behavior. This means we are aware of it. With common behavior we need to leverage as many forces as we can for lasting behavior change.

(There are also Automatic and Burning behaviors that don’t require all forces. You can find more about them in Stick with it.)

My SCIENCE plan to quit porn

For each SCIENCE force I brainstormed actions I would take to quit porn. I used the results to create a 3 months action plan. After these 3 months I would go back and evaluate my progress. I ask, what worked and what didn’t? After the evaluation I start again to brainstorm and create the next 3 months action plan.

In this sense a SCIENCE plan is just a snapshot.

Now, before we get to my examples, I should mention one thing. You have to create your own SCIENCE plan. Feel free to copy from me. But, every SCIENCE plan needs to be tailored to the person. It needs to fit you and your life. Make your own plan. It’s easy!

Stepladders

We humans tend to overestimate our abilities. And we also tend to underestimate tasks and the amount of work. When we realize our mistake it’s already too late. At that point most people throw the towel. (If they can)

The stepladders approach helps to avoid that mistake. To leverage the power of stepladders you break down goals in small manageable tasks. I use 3 buckets for this: 1 month, 3 months, and more than 3 months. Can I quit porn for good in 1 month? No. Can I quit porn in 3 months? Probably not. So it will take more than 3 months. Thus, I have to break it down further.

I came up with the following smaller subgoals:

  • Stop downloading or streaming new porn. Only watch what I have on my hard drive

  • Stop watching porn movies. Only watch porn pictures

  • Separate porn watching and masturbation

I think the first subgoal is the easiest and doable in 3 months. I would work on that in the next 3 months with the help of the other forces.

Community

Great examples for the power of communities are Alcoholics Anonymous and sects like Scientology. AA helps millions of people all over the world to fight their addiction. Members of Scientology change their lives and even leave their families for the “church.” Communities can very powerful for behavior change.

To leverage the power of communities you need two things:

  • Other members (at least one person)

  • A common goal

I brainstormed following options for porn addiction:

  • Join (anonymously) an online community like Reboot Nation

  • Find and join a local self-help group

  • Ask a friend with the same problem to be my accountability body

I have a hard time opening up to people. Thus, I would join Reboot Nation under a fake name. (Being part of a community is more than just reading the forum – contribution is necessary.)

Important

People do what is important. But, often times they don’t realize what is important or why it is important. They stop at the surface level of their motivation. Studies show that for most people wealth, health, and social connections are most important.

I suggest being more specific. A great way to find out what is important to you is the 5 why technique.

I applied the technique – starting with the question why is it important me to quit porn. Here are my reasons:

I would print this list out and keep it there I can see it every day. That way it reminds me why it is important to quit porn.

Easy

 

Our bodies primary goal is survival and by extend to save energy. This has some paradox side effects like the yo-yo effect.

We tend to do easy things. We tend to avoid hard things. So, how can we turn something hard into something easy? Or vice versa? There are 3 options:

  • Change/Control the environment

  • Limit choices

  • Create a roadmap

I did some brainstorming based on these 3 options.

  • Control the environment

  • Limit Choices

    • Only watch porn saved on my hard drive

  • Create a roadmap

    • Doing that right now with the SCIENCE plan and the stepladder approach

In this case I only have to install blocking software to leverage the power of easy. The other points are already covered by the SCIENCE plan itself.

Neurohacks

Self-Identity is an important motivation for why we do things. Do you self-identify as a porn addict? If you do, it will motivate you to watch porn.

Neurohacks help us to change our self-identities. The key is to reflect back and see how you changed over time. Also, the mind follows behavior and not the other way around! This means you have to change your behavior first. Then you reflect on that and your self-identity will change.

Neurohacks can be based on behavior, body movements, physiology, emotions, speech, and thoughts. As you can see it’s a vast subject. To keep this article brief I will tell you about 2 Neurohacks I used to reach my goals.

  • I change my password to something like “stpdwnld@porn4ver

  • I buy a physical calendar. I mark every day I kept to my goal. I want as many days as possible marked – an endless row

The password reminds me at least 10-20 times a day. The calendar will help me to reflect back and change my self-identity.

Captivating

Rewards motivate us to do things. But, it’s not that simple. With caged animals you can use food to reward them. It works like a charm. Humans are more complex and live in a chaotic environment. Our rewards need to be captivating.

What makes a reward captivating? It needs to be important. Most people find the following rewards captivating:

  • Financial rewards

  • Social rewards

  • Certain psychological states

  • Health

  • Freedom and independence

I brainstormed following rewards for myself:

  • For each week I don’t download porn I’ll put €5 in a fun fund

  • For each week I don’t download porn I’ll treat myself with 2 hours of guilt free gaming

I haven’t played computer games for years. But, lately I feel an urge to play again. This way I can do it guilt free. I’m going to spend the €5 probably on sweets or something stupid.

Engrained

The best way to get rid of a bad habit is to replace it with a good one. Repeating the new habit will engrave it. Over time the new habit replaces the old one. Repetition is the key to engraving. A porn journal helps to identify porn habits.

With the help of my journal I noticed that I download porn mostly before dinner time.

I’ll schedule my gaming sessions exactly at that time. That way I reward myself right at the moment. I’m also very motivated to play Metal Gear. That should be enough force to keep me away from downloads.

Create your own SCIENCE plan

Now it’s time for you to create your own SCIENCE plan. No excuses! I gave you an example and now you know how to do it.

  • Brainstorm your SCIENCE points

    • Start with stepladders to set the frame

  • Write a one-page action plan (To-dos, actions, dates, etc)

  • Put it all on a calendar

  • Repeat after 3 months

That’s the easy part. The hard part is sticking to your plan. Track your progress. Expect setbacks. Don’t give up. Worst-case scenario is you have to break down your goals further.

Deo Volente,

Gaius Wolf

P.S. on SCIENCE for general behavior change

I mentioned in the introduction that SCIENCE can make your sex dreams come true. That wasn’t an exaggeration. You can apply the SCIENCE framework to all parts of you life. This includes approaching and talking to girls.

P.P.S. Stick with it recommendation

If you like to know more about SCIENCE, you should read Stick with it. It is the SCIENCE book. I would put it in a row with Robert Cialdini’s Influence. Like Influence, Stick with it is easy to understand and full of descriptive examples. I love how well it is structured. It made it so easy to remember and recall the material. It’s a great read and I highly recommend it.

Facebooktwittergoogle_plus

Gaius

View more posts from this author

Leave a Reply