Porn is one of the biggest problems today. Most people think porn is harmless, but it isn’t. It affects us negative in many ways. It makes it hard to be masculine and impossible to be a stoic. If you want to be, like I, masculine and a stoic you have to stop watching porn. But first, you need to understand the toxic influence porn has on your mind.
“No one is immune from addiction; it afflicts people of all ages, races, classes, and professions.” – Patrick J. Kennedy
Porn is unnatural
One of stoicism’s core maxims is to live according to nature. But, is porn natural? I don’t think so. I know what some of you will say. Porn existed throughout time. Artists in ancient times painted, sculptured, and acted out sexual scenes.
But there is a big difference between porn before it became a huge industry and afterwards. Before, porn depicted real people having “real” sex like the average Joe. Today, porn depicts a fantasy.
Let me give an example.
A Pizza delivery man arrives at the home of a customer. The customer is a beautiful young girl without money to pay for the pizza. Poor thing. What should she do? She is very hungry. So she offers to pay with a blow job. She is lucky. The delivery man has a huge penis and stamina for 10 men. He fucks her straight for an hour in the craziest positions …
You get the point. The modern porn industry has created a false perception of the world. An unnatural perception.
Men watch it (too often) and start to think that sex is supposed to be that way. But it doesn’t. Modern porn’s depiction of sex is unnatural.
As Stoics we strive to live according to nature. But porn creates an unnatural perception of reality. If we want to live according to nature, we can’t follow porn’s unnatural example.
Porn is addictive
Porn is an addictive poison. As I already explained in my article on porn addiction, our bodies release dopamine every time we watch porn. After some time our bodies adapt to the dosage. To feel the same we need to watch something new; something more extreme.
(If you want to know how to fight porn addiction, read my ultimate how to quit porn guide!)
Sides like PornHub offer an infinite amount of porn scenes. Each scene plays out sexual practices or a fantasy, with new girls every day. As you can see PornHub and others are the perfect dealers for a dopamine rush. With no limit for the consumer porn is addictive.
Each click leads to a dopamine rush and makes it harder to stop.
Stoicism teaches us to enjoy the good things life has to offer. At the same time we should remain in control. We should be able to give them up at any moment.
“Every form of addiction is bad, no matter whether the narcotic be alcohol or morphine or idealism.” – Carl Jung
It’s similar to alcohol. It is good to enjoy wine in moderation. But it is a problem when you can’t stop drinking.
You can’t practice stoicism and be a porn addict.
“God, give me grace to accept with serenity
the things that cannot be changed,
Courage to change the things
which should be changed,
and the Wisdom to distinguish
the one from the other.
Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,
Taking, as Jesus did,
This sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it,
Trusting that You will make all things right,
If I surrender to Your will,
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with You forever in the next.” – Serenity Prayer (used by AA 12-step-program)
Porn diminishes masculinity
Every time you watch porn you compare yourself with the actor and that leads to a couple of problems for your masculinity.
Let’s look at how porn is made. Before they even start to shoot they apply makeup to the actors. It makes the girls look younger, their breasts bigger, and masks their flaws. It makes the guys look buff, tough, and their penises bigger.
The filming location is a real movie set. That means, there is a director, at least one camera man, a sound expert, a light expert and many others. The camera man uses special lenses and perspectives to make the guy’s penis look bigger.
If you think that the guy can last for more than 25 minutes, you are wrong. One of the first parts they film is the guy ejaculating. Every cut in the scene is probably a 10 minute break. They don’t produce a scene in an hour, they need at least half a day.
Inevitably you compare yourself with the guy in the scene. You can’t win that comparison.
“People who have never had an addiction don’t understand how hard it can be.” – Payne Stewart
The comparison leads to a low self-esteem. Seeing another man having success with beautiful women while you jerk of at home leads to low self-esteem!
The comparison will also make you question your sexual abilities. You can’t fuck a girl straight for 45 minutes plus and make her scream like crazy. But, when you see it in porn you start ask why you can’t do it. Is it because something is wrong with you? Probably not.
And most important the comparison will make you insecure about your penis. Most guys have an average and normal penis. Penises in porn look huge. They use a guy with good genes and manipulate the picture. Sometimes they use a fake penis.
Bottom line is, porn companies do everything to make the actor look like a sex machine with a huge penis. Inevitably you compare yourself with the guy. You can’t win that comparison. Not because something is wrong with you but because it’s fake.