Finding somebody that admits publicly to his porn addiction is a hard task. I tried and failed for a long time. The feelings of guilt and shame are too big for most men to admit it. Instead, most porn addicts look for anonymous help in dubious forums. But, for my articles on porn addiction I wanted a real human being we can relate to. Recently, I found a man we all can relate to: Terry Crews.
“The thing that you think is imperfect about you is the thing that makes you who you are. It separates you from everybody else. I have a scar on my lip, and for years I hated it. But now its become my thing. It’s like, without it, I’m not me. You can’t be perfect, so enjoy your imperfections. I can’t stress that enough.” – Terry Crews
My father is a simple man from a rural village in the former Yugoslavia. He is a relict from a time when men still were masculine. Sometimes he shares his wisdom with me in form of stories. Here is one of them:
Do you hate deadlines?
I hated deadlines in school and college! I wasn’t good at time management back when. Every assignment with a deadline tormented me. Most of my classmates felt the same. Today, I love deadlines! I love constrains and clear focus. One reason I changed my opinion is Rework. This book changed many of my beliefs and changed the way I work.
Jason Fried and David Heinemeier Hansson wrote Rework as a by-product of their work at Basecamp. Jason Fried founded 1999 with Carlos Segura, and Ernest Kim Basecamp, as a web design company. Segura and Kim left. Fried hired Hansson to build a web-base project management tool. Later, he became a partner at Basecamp.
I read the Meditations by Marcus Aurelius the first time in August 2014. To be honest, it disappointed me. A couple of months before, I read The Obstacle Is The Way by Ryan Holiday and A Guide To The Good Life By William B. Irvine. They introduced me to stoicism. I loved reading both books. Both authors explain in a structured and easy way stoic ideas. I expected the same from Marcus Aurelius and the Meditations. But, the Meditations are not like any other book I read. In September 2015 I reread it with a clear view what the Meditations are and how I could take notes. This second time I wasn’t disappointed.
“The art of living is more like wrestling than dancing.” – Marcus Aurelius
With 20 years Arnold Schwarzenegger became the youngest Mr. Universe. Since he was a little boy he dreamed of moving to the USA and becoming a great star. In 1968 Joe Weider invited Arnold to train in the USA. He continued body building to become Mr. Universe 5 times and Mr. Olympia 7 times. His acting career started in 1969 with ‘Hercules in New York’ and made him one of the biggest stars in the 80s and 90s. His childhood dreams turned into reality because he positioned himself for networking success!
When was the last time you unsuccessfully tried to understand a concept?
“I learned very early the difference between knowing the name of something and knowing something.” – Richard Feynman
For me, it was the day before I learned the Feynman method. I tried to understand some algorithms during my calculus classes. I did the math and sometimes I got the right answer. But I did not understand the underlying meaning. I could use the algorithms but I did not know when and why. Around the same time one of my professors mentioned Richard Feynman during class. It was a recommendation to look him up. I did. I found a role-model and a great learning method.
Having role models is a great way grow! Before we start to learn something new, before we decide to be something, we need a person to ignite the idea. For example, you see a comedy show and you think to yourself: “I can do that!”. Such moments are gifts. In these moments you decide to grow, to get better and to be more. Thanks to a role model. As you progress with your new skill, you will struggle to master it. And once again a role model helps you. It gives you a picture where you want to go, what you want to do, who you want to be. The role model gives you a goal and motivates you along the way. You ask yourself some questions: “How would X do this?”, “Why did X this?”, “What made X so successful?”, “How is X training?” You find the answers to such questions and copy or steal from your role model.
I truly believe in this concept and know from experience how powerful it is. That is, why I’m starting a new article series called: “The one thing I learned from X”. I will write about the one key thing I learned from one of my role models.